Stop Asking: “How was your day?”-Try This Instead!

If you're met with one-word answers like 'fine,' 'okay,' or a shrug when you ask your child how their day was—you're not alone. Many parents struggle to connect after school, but the solution might be simpler than you think.

Why 'How Was Your Day?' Doesn't Work

Children often feel overwhelmed, tired, or unsure how to summarize their day when asked vague questions. 'How was your day?' can feel too broad or pressure-filled, especially for kids who don’t know where to start.

What to Ask Instead

Instead of a generic question, try something more specific and engaging. The goal is to help your child reflect and share without feeling put on the spot.

  • Here are a few examples:

  • What was the best part of your day?

  • Did anything make you laugh today?

  • Who did you sit with at lunch?

  • Was there a moment you felt proud of yourself?

  • What’s something you’re looking forward to tomorrow?

  • Was there a rule that felt hard to follow today?

  • If your teacher had a superpower, what would it be?

How to Make These Questions a Habit

The key is consistency and timing. These questions work best when asked during moments of calm connection—like in the car ride home, at the dinner table, or while getting ready for bed. Pick one or two questions and keep them light. Let your child know there’s no pressure to answer perfectly—just share what they can.

To help you get started, I’ve created a free printable handout with kid-approved questions that go beyond 'How was your day?'. Hang it on your fridge or keep it in your car for easy reference.

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